Sweat beading down from your forehead down to your cheeks. You could feel heat emanating from every breath you take behind the bobby-head mask. Your grip tighten on the trigger as you hear footsteps ahead, glancing behind at your squad mates, you give a silent nod. It’s now or never. You and your squad dashed out of cover to meet a torrent of bullets from the elite police SWAT team. You are shot a couple of times, screens glows red. But who cares; life is a video game and respawn is inevitable. Next moment you see a giant helicopter piloted by another of your crazy gang member, hoisting up the bank vault as you stylishly 10/10 Olympic-finish jump on board. This was the opening mission and it definitely encapsulates what is coming up in the game – Gang warfare, police and local authorities troubles, heists – but nothing can compare to beating pedestrian to a pulp with a giant purple dildo. Ah the satisfaction.
Wait is this another GTA rip-off?
The GTA franchise is indeed extremely successful in creating an open map game that allow players to free roam to do whatever they want with weapons and vehicle the game can offer. It has created a name for itself in this genre and it’s GUI and in-game type of activities such as car-napping and mindlessly shooting pedestrians have proved to be most popular among gamers. Therefore, games like Saints Row shouldn’t be labelled as a rip off of GTA but rather a reinvention as it merely established itself upon a popular setting. Also, the game does indeed innovates new features such as inviting NPCs to be part of your gang or using victims as meat shields as well as a non-linear campaign with alternate endings. My own personal experience is that this game handles like GTA but the story/campaign is much different and vibrant. Saints Row 3 provides a diversity of missions from classic assassinations to participating in a death show.
Leading the crew
Players start with the customisation screen where a myriad of options awaits for you to create your either Mr Toogoodlooking or Ms Saggytits. There is literally a million options to go about creating your character. Once in the campaign, you play as the leader of the Saints – A global crime syndicate gang which hardly sees any real criminal activities. You and your gang creates an orgy of gangbang between local gangs, police and the STAG (paramilitary group). You fight these pleebs the prove your innocence that had been tainted by the Luchadores leaders, Kill Bane. You gain new allies to fight for your bloody endeavour of keeping the Saint’s name alive and prove yourselves to be the meanest boys of the block. This game is literally the definition of F**k physics and the popo.
Too good to be true
This game’s physics can be a friend and a foe. It seems that you are King Midas and every vehicle you touch seem to turn to gold and weigh a ton. Any car you drive fast enough seem to unimaginably become an unstoppable train which blows past any traffic in the way. The bad part about this is there is a crap ton of glitches. I’ve glitches myself into a bridge after a jump and managed to stuck myself into a car. Not life or death but sure is irritating those glitches. The weapon toggling for your grenades is also a tool. The standard mouse wheel works brilliantly for your guns but it seems for grenades there isn’t a quick way about it. I had to configure my settings to bind keys for my grenade slots. Tough match in a fight when you have to use grenades.
Saint or not
Overall I give this game a 8/10 as it was immensely fun to play the campaign as it brings more comedy into a otherwise shoot to eliminate story. Interesting character development and unique crews brings out a wholesome gameplay in my opinion for a “GTA style” kinda game. Rip off or reinvention? You decide.